And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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