we're blogging at a bar
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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