Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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