i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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