Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
