I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Randomize
