one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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