One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Drunk is not a location!
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
