babies were throwing up all over the place
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
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