He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
It's like God shit irony all over that family
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I'm determined to sit on that face.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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