i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
