We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
