Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
