Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
