She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
