It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
