they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
