dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
