We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
jump out the window naked night went bad
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