So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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