Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
wow bdsm is so cute
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
