guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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