Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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