I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
