did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
