Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Boobs speak an international language.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
