You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
