their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
