don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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