Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
