I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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