I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
