batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I've blown a few things in my day
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
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