went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
