So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Randomize
