I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
