She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
3 2 1 whiskey
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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