I hate all girls vehemently.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Randomize
