HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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