She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
