So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
