So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Why is your signature on my underwear?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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