don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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