I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
