He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
