I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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