Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
