Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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