This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
