it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
