I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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