I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Randomize
