I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
